Living Between Adoration and Frustration

Life in Katy with a toddler and a pre-schooler

I am constantly amazed by my girls.  Yesterday, I went in to wake up my four-year old from her nap and just sat and stared at her.  On a daily basis, I appreciate the obvious things about her: her sense of humor, her creative mind, the way she spins in circles when she feels beautiful.  But yesterday, sitting on her bed watching her breathe in and out, I was struck by the little things.  How her hands have grown.  How this amazing creation coexists with me every day of my life.  How I can know the exact outline of her face and still be surprised when I really look closely at how perfectly she was formed.

I sat there, watching my daughter sleep, thinking about how not 2 hours earlier I was praying for more patience to deal with the latest act of defiance.  With both of my daughters, four-year-old Avery and 18-month Kate, I feel like I spend my time living between adoration and frustration.  The same little creature that throws temper tantrums is the one I was watching sleep and marveling at.  The number of times a day I breathe deep and count to ten equals the number of times a day I cannot help but stop everything for a hug or a giggle with my beloveds. 

In this place of parenting a toddler and a pre-schooler, I am always aware of how fast this time goes by and how common my feelings are to mothers in the same stage of life as me.  I want to embrace these moments, and catching my daughter napping really helps me with my perspective.

I wonder if all of parenting isn’t like that.  It is as wonderful as it is challenging.  It is as much frustration as it is enjoyment.  That there are just as many days you want to be over before they begun as there are days you would freeze for all of eternity.  And, as I pulled Avery in to me and held her tight as she slept, I couldn’t help but think of how welcome the frustrating time in this stage of life are, if they mean I also get these moments of sheer wonderment.  

What about you?  Which parts make you frustrated?  Which parts will you cling to while they last?  Post a comment below!

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