Living My Dream

When I was young and couldn’t sleep at night, I’d lose myself in fantasy worlds. I didn’t dream of being a princess or a ballerina. I didn’t want to be a rock star. I wanted to be a mommy. I’d lay awake at night, dreaming of the day I could hold my very own little ones in my arms.

Several times a week, I catch myself with a silly grin (often with a tear as well), just soaking in these moments that are so fleeting and so very precious. The way that my oldest daughter, Avery, says “Mama”, the way that the baby, Kate, stares at her daddy when he walks in a room, the days full of learning and playing and cuddling… it’s all a dream come true. I’ll take the dishes and laundry and constant clutter. With it comes the most blessed moments I’ve lived through yet.

I wondered when my first daughter, Avery was born how people could tell me it only got better from there. She was so small and so precious and a part of me never wanted those days to end, so I couldn’t imagine it being even better than that. Now, I understand. As a 3 ½ year old, the child is so full of life and spunk and I absolutely adore her at this age. Watching her figure out her world and explore communication is like seeing it all again myself. Just like I felt when she was one, and two, and three, I don’t ever want to forget the way she looks as a three and a half year old girl, running around our backyard or splashing in the tub or hunched over her sister, sharing toys, singing, or giving kisses.

Avery is so special and so full of life that before we knew Kate, our 18 month old (“the baby”), we wondered how another baby could possibly find a place to belong in our family.  Kate has answered that call with overwhelming sweetness, gentleness, and delight.  She has awoken a place in my heart that I never knew was there.  Her tender hugs, the way she clings to me like a monkey on its mama, and her coy but flirty personality are completely different but wholly complementary to her sister. 

This Mother’s Day, I’m pausing to say thank you to God  for this dream come true. These days are just too precious, and although they are fleeting, I do not miss them when they are gone.  I know tomorrow holds more moments to appreciate  and more dreams come true.